(Thanks to @addycat on Twitter for this!)
(Thanks to @addycat on Twitter for this!)
There’s nothing I love more than a good body-wise explanation, and this poster does a fantastic job of spelling out one of life’s enduring rhythms. It’s the product of I Heart Guts, a silly and scientific little company created by an anatomically obsessed illustrator who loves internal organs.The poster is 18×24 inches and costs $15. It might be just the thing to decorate your bathroom (or a baby girl’s room, for that matter!).
I Heart Guts also makes organ plushies, posters and other paper-goods, t-shirts and accessories (where else can you get a cute little hypothalamus lapel pin?). Check out their free e-cards, too.
Guys shouldn’t feel left out, there’s a great “Grab Your Gonads” testicle self-examination card and free download – think of it as the instructions that should have come with the package.
More Geek Porn Girl posts on menstruation and girl parts here.
I’m not against personal grooming, however, training little girls to hate their pubic hair is just wrong.
(Thanks to The Gloss for this. I’ll go scrub my eyeballs now.)
I’m not going to apologize.
In this regard, both men and women need to get the fuck over themselves. Menstrual blood is the stuff of our lives, quite literally. It’s the medium of our conception and the scarlet downbeat of one of nature’s great rhythms.
Here are calendars from two different sides of the country. Both will enhance your dyke decor, help you get organized, and make great holiday gifts. Plus, each of them supports a good cause. Click through to the publisher’s websites and look through the months.
The Women Motorcycle Riders Calendar is jammed with photos of women surrounded by lots of shiny chrome and black leather. This calendar is especially fun for San Francisco Bay Area residents who will recognize many of the faces (and bikes!). Sales will help defray medical costs for one of the women featured in the calendar who is undergoing cancer treatment. The calendar is $29.50 and you can order it here.
I Heart Brooklyn Girls is a fun, themed calendar with a cult following, and this year’s queer pulp fiction theme is once again pure fun. A portion of the sales will help benefit Sylvia’s Place, an emergency overnight shelter for homeless LGBT youth run by the Metropolitan Community Church of New York. Calendars are available on the IHBG website, and in select stores and bookshops. 2011 calendars are $12, and posters are available, as well as previous years’ calendars, which you might want just for the pictures. (I was a fan of the 2009 calendar!)
Justine Bateman and pal Kelly Cutrone have teamed up to produce an online talk show they call Wake Up And Get Real. The duo says they developed the show, realizing the time had come for a talk show that would express the views that aren’t on The View.
This is girlfriend chat at its best. In previous episodes, the two have talked about vegan baby showers, gopher eradication, weight and womens’ relationship to the scale. They’ve interviewed interesting people and covered events. In this, their 22nd episode, Bateman – the young “Mallory” on the 1980s television hit Family Ties, who is now 44 – talks candidly about her aging face.
I’m putting Bateman on the list of women I’d like to have dinner with. Oh, yeah.
I’ve written about the “Bechdel Rule” for movies and television shows in this space before. It’s a simple three-point screening tool testing the presence and value of women in television and film. The idea was originally generated in Alison Bechdel‘s Dykes to Watch Out For comic. You can see the original panel here.
There is no gender test. There is not one known to man, woman, or anyone on the spectrum in between.
The media circus and travesty surrounding the recent “gender testing” of South African runner Caster Semenya has led to South Africa’s Minister for Women and Children filing a complaint with the United Nations over how her case was handled.
The world’s favorite satirical news source, The Onion, published this very funny article today. I imagine the writer had to email everyone s/he knew to get this list of polite names for female reproductive system:
Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There
STOCKHOLM-In recognition of her groundbreaking work treating life- threatening diseases of the privates, renowned hoo-ha specialist Dr. Victoria Lazoff was awarded the Nobel Prize in Lady Medicine this week.
The world’s foremost authority on ailments down south, Lazoff led a team of cutting-edge hoo-ha doctors to develop new strategies for detecting abnormal growth in…you know, that area. The accomplished physician humbly accepted medicine’s highest honor before a crowd of her peers, and spoke about the importance of regular screenings to prevent unnecessary complications up inside one’s business.
Read the rest of the story in The Onion.
Apparently I wasn’t the only one who found PETA’s recent stunt in Texas exploitive of women and lesbians.
Here you can see the animal rights group take the heat on Fox News (who’s actually slathering to show the girl-on-girl makeout pictures). However, it’s entirely unclear if Fox is outraged on behalf of women, or actually just scandalized at public homoerotic behavior.
While the message was supposed to be that vegetarians make better lovers, anyway you look at it, it all spells T-A-C-K-Y.
(I have to say, there is a really raunchy joke in here about lesbians, silicone strap-ons, and not having to eat meat, but I’m not going to make it…)
Maybe it’s all the hoopla around Facebook’s puckered attitude about breastfeeding moms, maybe it’s my interest in taking lactation training so I can help new moms nurse successfully… who knows, but I was moved to watch Breasts: A Documentary.
I can’t recommend this hour-long film enough. It should be required watching for all women and girls. I think maybe for men too, although not for the reasons they’d think.
The film is the work of Meema Spadola, an award-winning film maker and an all-female camera crew.
Although it was released in 1996, the film remains wildly relevant.
Spadola talked to 22 women – many of whom appear topless in the film – about their relationship with their breasts. There are so many layers to the film: Mother/daughter relationships and inter-generational body attitudes, the role breasts play in sexual relationships, breast feeding, breast augmentation experiences, and of course, breast cancer. The subject’s film include a voluptuous transsexual, a stripper with implants, an 11-year-old on the cusp of puberty, a 420-pound comedienne, and an 84-year-old grandmother.
Check it out if you get a chance. It’s available from Netflix and you can buy it on Amazon. It would make a fantastic Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day gift for the special woman in your life.
The full moon is coming and it’s almost that time again. I’m getting a little twitchy.
I have to admit it: I’m addicted to haircuts.
Like many women, I have always have been overly interested in my own hair, and through the years I’ve had long hair, short hair, curly hair, straight hair, Bettie Page bangs, spike-y layers… almost anything you can think of. I’ve also been many shades of brown and red, both single-step and highlighted. I’ve briefly veered toward blonde. I don’t want to think about the total lifetime cost of my hair. I’m sure it would look like the gross national product of an emerging nation.
Anyone who has met me in the past 5 years would find this funny, I think. Because for a long time now, my hair has been its natural salt-and-pepper (like me, getting saltier by the day), and cut very close to my head.
While my head isn’t exactly shaved, on any given day, my hair is still shorter than any of the guys who went out for basketball at my high school.
And I love the feeling of it freshly cut. I love the velvety feeling of the back and sides.
I don’t have to tell you, hair has strong gender association in our society.
Ask any kid under six years old and they’ll tell you “girls have long hair and boys have short.” Or as my son once said, swooning over a girl in his elementary school class: “She has long hair – like a princess, Mom.”
I originally cut mine short out of practicality. It stays out of the way during my yoga practice, looks the same in any weather, requires no “product” to hold its style, and takes no time at all
But, I also like the fact it’s a little extreme and messes with perception of my gender identity.
In fact, the lesbian community may hold to hair stereotypes more strongly than six-year-olds. Butch women are supposed to have short hair, and femmes are supposed to nuture and primp their long locks, right?
I’ve dated a few butch women who were freaked out by my hair, assuming they were somehow less butch in my presence. Some felt challenged and cut their hair shorter than mine. At least one really liked it, but I could almost see the wheels turning as she wondered “OMG. Does this make me gay?”
(I’m only joking and I’m sure you’re just as butch as you were before you ran your hands over my hair, I promise.)
I’m one of those women who never looks like a guy, even devoid of hair, mascara, and my favorite lip gloss. And ironically, I feel the most feminine with my hair shorn.
In fact, when I look back at old photos of myself with long, tended ‘dos, I feel like I’m looking at myself in drag. And I’ve never liked obvious hair products on anyone. Nothing looks less sensual and less appealing than artfully mussed hair that is gelled, sticky, and so stiff it looks like you would risking scratching your cornea in an embrace.
Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that many, if not most, women look better without their hair.
I wouldn’t say I’ve developed this into a fetish, but I definitely sit up and take notice when there’s another woman around with buzzed hair. And I thrill to the tips of my toes (and other places) when an actress shaves her head on screen.
Recent years have provided a flood of actresses without their hair, and most look better than they did with it.
Really. Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta, anyone?
I even think Britney looked better when she was briefly bald.
While I appreciate the tough circumstances that made Melissa Etheridge lose her hair, I think she looked stronger and more vibrant without her hair than she looks with it. Her hair is usually sort of wishy-washy and without much style. Cut it all off, Melissa!
Here’s a little gallery of women I think look incredibly hot without their hair. If only they were all lesbians… sigh.
This was her query:
“I’m dating someone new who just doesn’t get wet when we have sex. She says she never has with anyone and that it isn’t related to her desire. If I go down on her, she comes with no problem, but otherwise she has to use lots of lube. Is there anything we can do about this? Like a change of diet or anything? Or should I just get over it and use lube?”
There are two different things at work in this question. The first is about the reason the new girlfriend may not be lubricating, but underlying that question, there seems to be lube-a-phobia on the part of the woman asking.
Let’s address the two things in order:
Women lubricate at different rates. Sexual responsiveness is highly individualized. Wetness is not always an indicator of arousal or ability to respond sexually. That said, changes in lubrication should be noted for health reasons like any other change in bodily function. A sudden decrease in your body’s ability to lubricate can be an indicator of a vaginal infection or other condition and warrants a trip to your health professional.
Emotional discomfort can have an effect on lubrication. Feeling embarrassed, shy, or unsafe can affect a woman’s ability to relax and get turned on. So can external stress factors (job, family, money, etc.) and exhaustion.
The most common reason for women not lubricating during sex is lack of foreplay, or a need for more stimulation. There’s a double-whammy here, because manual stimulation – even externally – can be uncomfortable, even painful, for some women when they’re dry. Painful stimulation can adversely affect their ability to begin lubricating, and a vicious cycle begins.
This is one situation where a few drops of lube, applied externally, can really help to get the old ball rolling. Faster, more direct and to the point: Lick your fingers.
Saliva, of course, should only be used as a lubricant if you’re fluid-bonded with your partner. If you’re using dental dams and gloves, an appropriate lube (more below on what’s appropriate when) will make things go much more smoothly.
For some women, that initial jump start is all it takes to get their internal juices flowing.
Others, however, may need assistance with lubrication all along the way.
A woman’s ability to lubricate can potentially be affected by changes in her hormones, medications, personal habits, diet, and stress level.
Varying levels of hormones can affect a woman’s wetness. Menopause is a classic time for changes, as is the post-partum period and during breastfeeding. In fact, anything that changes hormone levels could potentially affect lubrication, including hysterectomy and invasive procedures, medical conditions, and nutritional supplements. Reduced lubrication can be linked to low levels of estrogen, and it’s easy to have your estrogen levels checked by your physician or nurse practitioner.
Many medications can potentially reduce lubrication including antihistamines, cold pills, birth control pills, appetite suppressants, diuretics, testosterone supplements, and anti-depressants.
The use of harsh detergent cleansers can irritate delicate vaginal tissues and have an effect on lubrication. Likewise, many bubble bath and bath salt preparations can be irritating, no matter how pretty they smell, and relaxing they feel.
Super-absorbent tampons may reduce a woman’s natural secretions, and many women find a dab of lube beneficial during their menstrual cycle. (The resulting orgasm can be a quick way to ease cramps!)
It’s hard to find evidence linking diet to changes in lubrication, but it stands to reason that a very low-fat diet, especially one low in the “good fats” like olive, fish, and nut oils, may have an adverse effect. Dehydration, which can be a result of exercise, heat, and over-consumption of caffeine and alcohol, will affect your body’s ability to produce fluids. (So while alcohol is a social lubricant, it’s not a personal one!)
On the subject of food, I have to say, food makes a lousy lubricant. Honey, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, fruit, and other legendary sex toppings will trigger yeast infections in many (if not most) women. Spread them on each other and lick yourselves silly, but only above the waist, please.
This brings me to the second part of the question, about whether the asker is experiencing lube-a-phobia.
Over the years in casual and more intimate conversation, I’ve noticed that women often have strong feeling about using lube. Dare I say, lube can be a slippery topic?
Some women love the stuff. As one of my friends says “just using it feels so dirty.” Others can’t stand it, or as another says “using it just feels so dirty”.
Hey, for some, dirty is a good thing.
(I’m betting that the ones that can’t stand it need it the least.)
Some treat the use of lube like an admission of defeat, thinking they can’t get aroused enough, or can’t arouse their partners enough. Often one partner wants it but is shy about introducing it to the other. Some women think it’s only for use with sex toys, or during anal sex or fisting (the later two activities definitely require lube to protect delicate tissues). Some don’t like the texture, smell, or taste.
Today there are so many different lubes on the market, there’s definitely something for every desire. No one needs to be rubbed the wrong way.
Most modern lubes are relatively thin. Some are available in thicker gel-like solutions. None are thick and sticky like the red grease used to pack bearings.
Side note to mechanics and others: Petroleum products like Vaseline, baby oil, and axle grease never make good lube. They can cause irritation, infection, and break down toys and barriers.
Lubes come in three basic varieties: Water-soluble, glycerin-based, and silicone-based.
Water-soluble lubes tend to rinse off, and out, of the body easily, and are therefore least likely to irritate. They’re condom and toy safe. However, they may need to be reapplied during use.
Glycerin-based lubes are slipperier than water-based. They’re safe with toys. However, some women find that glycerin-based lubricants can trigger yeast infections. Glycerin is, chemically, refined from glycerol, a sugar alcohol. It makes a super-slick, sweeter-tasting lube, but can cause the same problems as that porn film favorite, whipped cream (although without the silly mustache).
Silicone-based lubes are the slipperiest but have a texture more like oil. While they’re eventually absorbed by the body (and are reportedly non-toxic), they don’t wash off as easily as the water-based products, especially when used internally. They can be used in the water. (Although I can’t vouch that they’re good for your hot tub’s filter!) They’re not safe for use with some toy and barrier materials, including silcone, Cyberskin, and Softskin, but provide lots of long-lasting slipperiness for high-friction activities. They’re also the most expensive.
Amongst all these lube choices are options that are thicker, thinner, flavored, self-warming, and minty-fresh. Some have all-natural ingredients. Any good purveyor of sex accessories like Good Vibrations or Babeland will sell a variety of lubes and be able to provide information about their products’ uses, restrictions, qualities, and ingredients. Some shops even sell sampler packets so you can try a variety. Familiar drugstore labels like KY and Astroglide have introduced new products in recent years with more of the features of boutique brands, including products that double as personal massage oils.
So, if you’re lube-a-phobic, broaden your horizons and try some of the options available.
And, to the woman who asked the question, I’ll ask this one in return: If your new girlfriend wants lube and says it will make sex better for her, why the heck aren’t you sprinting out to get her some?