Last weekend, I was at the Sonoma County Pride celebration in the sweet little, and oh-so-gay, river town of Guerneville. The parade was tiny but enthusiastic, the Dykes on Bikes could be counted on both hands, and maybe a toe or two. The local Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence rode Segways, courtesy of a tour company, waving regally to the crowd from their two-wheeled perches.

After the parade there was a gathering at a nearby resort. There was the usual collection of booths and vendors, and a stage featuring enthusiastic musicians of every ilk, from polka to drumming to rock-n-roll.

But at 3:15 p.m., the entertainment stopped for the annual spectacle known as the Commitment Ceremony.

Ack.

Described on the Sonoma County Pride website, the Commitment Ceremony is an en masse public event that “is a powerful statement about a couple’s relationship and their devotion to each other. Straight couples are welcome to participate, and in doing so, to show their support for all loving relationships.”

Ack. Ack.

Understand, I’m all for same-sex marriage, but I believe the time has come when our vows need to stop being a novelty act.

Getting married* or recommitted in the middle of a public festival during the band break, just yards from the beer and wine booth, isn’t sanctity. And, it’s not dignified, no matter how much Vaseline you smear on the lens.

After all, straight people don’t stand up at their events – county fairs, NASCAR races, hockey games, what have you – and get group committed. Hell, their friends would have them committed if they kept that up.

One of the best ways to show the world the lesbian and gay community understands the sanctity of marriage is to act like we’re serious about it – and that means no public pageantry, no using ceremonies for shock value, and reining in the urge to make our special days political press events.

Getting married on the steps of City Hall and having reporters show up is one thing (and hopefully the intrigue will wear off once we’re doing it in cities all over the state). Exchanging your vows with a whole group of tearful, beery, sunbathing, rainbow-clad dancing fools, is another.

In past years, there have been prominent newspaper pictures of this annual folly, and they make me cringe.

So, I’m requesting you to help stop the queer madness! This year demonstrate your belief in same-sex marriage by publicly committing not to publicly marry or recommit. When the moment comes, wear white, don’t wear white, be barefoot on a beach, be with family and friends, or be alone in a temple, but for God’s sake, do it like you mean it.