- Iris-the-dog clings to her dinner bowl like she's driving the porcelain bus. Sometimes she wraps her paws around it. http://t.co/0xYSRJIHcp 2 days ago
- So excited! Seeing ACT's production of Tom Stoppard's "Arcadia" tonight. Best. Play. Ever. 6 days ago
- Angelina Jolie has proven herself to be more beautiful than the world, or Hollywood, could have ever imagined. 1 week ago
- Happy Mother's Day! Get a little teary – HRC Celebrates Moms wp.me/p6DHk-1Pm 1 week ago
- Mother's Day perspective by a mom, once a dad: nytimes.com/2013/05/12/opi… (The last three sentences are the best!) 1 week ago
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tammy b on Steam single lesbian on Butch-throb! Victoria Oldham on Butch-throb! The Writing Buddha (… on UK Homecoming sha on Contact
As always, the parking lot at the Berkeley Bowl was a cluster fuck.
Since I’m not a fan of parking garages, I circled several times before a space opened up on the far side, near the street. I pulled in next to a black Lexus with tinted windows just as the passenger door was opening.
A young woman emerged, quickly smoothing down her short cotton dress and composing herself. She reached for the passenger door and opened it, wedging herself between the two cars. There was an edge of formality to her action and she stood still, eyes forward, until the driver unfolded herself from the car, clearly taking her time. The driver was tall and masculine in presentation, her hair cropped close around the sides and fading smoothly into her honey-colored skin. She wore a pressed white button-down shirt, and heavy silver loops in her ears. After the door had closed gently, and the driver had set the locks, she handed the girl her leather jacket, and the girl stood on tip-toe to slide it onto the driver’s shoulders. As her hem of her dress lifted with her efforts, the red welts of a recent caning showed on the backs of her thighs. They started toward the store, the driver leading the way.
WEST POINT, N.Y. (AP) — Cadet Chapel, the Gothic church at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, hosted a lesbian wedding on Saturday. It was the first same-sex wedding in the chapel’s more than 100-year history.
Penelope Gnesin and Brenda Sue Fulton, a West Point graduate, exchanged vows in the regal church in an afternoon ceremony attended by about 250 guests, and, in military tradition, exited the chapel under crossed sabers.
The women have been together for 17 years. They had a civil commitment ceremony that didn’t carry any legal force in 1999 and have long hoped to formalize their vows. Two landmark decisions made it possible: Last year New York legalized same-sex marriage and then President Barack Obama lifted the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy prohibiting openly gay people from serving in the military.
The brides both live in New Jersey and would have preferred to have the wedding there, but the state still doesn’t allow gay marriage.
“We just couldn’t wait any longer,” Fulton told The Associated Press in a phone interview Saturday.
Cadet Chapel was a more-than-adequate second choice, she said.
“It has a tremendous history, and it is beautiful. That’s where I first heard and said the cadet prayer,” Fulton said, referring to the invocation that says, “Make us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong, and never to be content with a half-truth when the whole can be won.”
The ceremony was the second same-sex wedding at West Point. Last weekend, two of Fulton’s friends, a young lieutenant and her partner, were married in another campus landmark, the small Old Cadet Chapel in West Point’s cemetery.
Fulton has campaigned against the ban on gays in the military as a member of two groups representing gay and lesbian servicemen and servicewomen. She graduated from West Point in 1980, a member of the first class to include women.
She served with the Army Signal Corps in Germany and rose to the rank of captain, but left the service in 1986 partly because she wanted to be open about her sexual orientation. Obama appointed her last year to the U.S. Military Academy’s Board of Visitors.
Fulton said the only hassle involved in arranging her ceremony came when she was initially told that none of West Point’s chaplains was authorized by his or her denomination to perform same-sex weddings.
Luckily, Fulton said, they were able to call on a friend, Army Chaplain Col. J. Wesley Smith, the senior Army chaplain at Dover Air Force Base.
French-born New York artist Casey Legler is breaking gender boundaries as the first female model on Ford Models’ male roster. The 6′ 2″, lanky Legler, a former Olympic swimmer, broke into modeling this summer after her friend, fashion photographer Cass Bird invited her to participate in a photo shoot for Muse magazine – as a man. The Ford Models agency saw the photographs and the next day, Legler was contracted to work exclusively in the agency’s stable of male models.
Her novel signing is bringing international attention, including an interview with Time magazine. (Be sure and click through to watch Time‘s video interview. I dare you – butch or femme – not to fall in love a little!)
Following in the well-shod footsteps of gender-bending models such as Andrej Pejic, Legler is adding a new twist to fashion layouts – one that is sure to leave femme hearts fluttering.
There are times when Doonesbury hits the mark like nothing else. Life sciences geeks and women everywhere are cheering!
There is a growing collection of “Praise the Vagina” songs on this site (here, here, and here). In response to the Michigan flap about Rep. Lisa Brown’s use of the word “vagina” on the floor (best snark here), I offer this one, by a man, but still worthy of your attention:
I’m looking forward to seeing this:
This new campaign delivers a body blow. Called “Freedom to Serve, Freedom to Marry,” the information campaign is targeted at educating the public about the Defense of Marriage Act and its impact on gay and lesbian military families.
Evan Wolfson, the founder of Freedom to Marry, one of the organizations behind the campaign, spells it out:s:
Many people assume that, with the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” gay men and lesbians serving our country are now being treated fairly and equally, but that’s not the case. We ended the ban on open military service for gay and lesbian Americans, but there is still federal ban on treating married service members as what they are: married.
(Thanks to towleroad.)
Grab a hankie…
This is the first of a series of comic strips cartoonist Garry Trudeau planned for this week which deal with the recent spate of anti-abortion ultrasound bills. (Click to enlarge the strip.)
Several newspapers have made plans to run repeat Doonesbury comic strips in lieu of the strips.
“We thought the strips were over the line for the comics pages and won’t be running them,” said Oregonian features editor JoLene Krawczak “We’ll tell readers where they can read them online.”
(Note to newspaper editors: This is not a time to send your readers to other online sources to get what they want, in case you haven’t noticed.)
The more controversial strips, expected to run Tuesday and Thursday, contain the lines “Do your parents know you’re a slut?” (directed at the strip’s protagonist by a “state legislator” after she tell him she’s been using the health clinic’s contraceptive services) and “By the authority invested in me by the GOP base, I thee rape” (announced by the doctor administering the pre-termination trans-vaginal sonogram).
This will be the first time in Doonesbury‘s 42-year history that Trudeau has used the strip to sound off about the abortion debate.
“I chose the topic of compulsory sonograms because it was in the news and because of its relevance to the broader battle over women’s health currently being waged in several states,” Trudeau told The Washington Post.
“For some reason, the GOP has chosen 2012 to re-litigate reproductive freedom, an issue that was resolved decades ago. Why [Rick] Santorum, [Rush] Limbaugh et al. thought this would be a good time to declare war on half the electorate, I cannot say. But to ignore it would have been comedy malpractice.”
This new video from FeministFrequency’s Anita Sarkeesian applies the Bechdel Rule to the 2012 Academy Award nominees. Woody Allen gets spanked for his treatment of Gertrude Stein in Midnight in Paris… and there are some good movie tips, too.
There are more commentary videos at FeministFrequency.com. While you’re there, consider making a donation – if only because we hardly ever get to hear “feminist” and “pop culture” linked together.
For some reason, even though I’m not a big fan of the forced romanticism of Valentine’s Day, the holiday has seemed to creep into my fiction over the years:
Underwired – A lonely woman shops for bras on Valentine’s Day and finds the perfect bra and more.
Chocolate Fondue – A Victorian fantasy about a femme top and a pot of melted chocolate.
The Pillow Fight – A random encounter leads to SF’s infamous Valentine’s Day Pillow Fight.
For slightly deeper Valentine’s Day reading, check out Something About Love, a serial story I wrote a couple of years ago as part of a Freedom To Marry event that spanned several different blogs.
The rainbow-hued wires have been buzzing this week with bitching and tsking over actress Cynthia Nixon’s interview with the New York Times Magazine, where she told writer Alex Witchel that for her, being gay is a choice.
Her comment was made while telling a story about how she prepared an empowering speech for a gay audience, and was counseled to edit out the line, “I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better”. Event organizers felt that Nixon’s statement implied that homosexuality can be a choice which was not a message they supported, to which she replied, “And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”
Immediately, Nixon began to be pecked at by the self-righteous peckers of gay rights organizations and the gay press, who hopped up and down and said her statement fuels the conservative belief that gay can be prayed away.
Today, Nixon made a statement to The Advocate, in an attempt to clarify and contextualize her comment:
“My recent comments in The New York Times were about me and my personal story of being gay. I believe we all have different ways we came to the gay community and we can’t, and shouldn’t be, pigeon-holed into one cultural narrative which can be uninclusive and disempowering. However, to the extent that anyone wishes to interpret my words in a strictly legal context I would like to clarify:
“While I don’t often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have ‘chosen’ is to be in a gay relationship.”
So there. We made her turn in her gay card so she could be reissued a bi card. Now that we’ve forced the woman into clarifying her sexual orientation for us, we can all feel better about our own gayness.
Why does the LGBT community continually act like it’s Gay Day at Disneyland and the gayest amongst us will go to the front of the line at Space Mountain?
Nixon, 46, was in a 15-year relationship with a man that started in her early 20s. The two have two children together. Since 2004, she has been in a relationship with education activist Christine Marinoni. Marinoni gave birth to the couple’s son in 2011.
Nixon’s story isn’t that different than mine (well, except for all her talent and fame). I also came out in my 30s. I was married to a man, and together we had a child. Since I’m confessing: it was actually my second marriage to a man. I was involved in two opposite-sex relationships that totaled nearly 27 years, the first a right-after-college-graduation marriage to my high school sweetheart.
No one, especially not a reporter, has ever sat me down to ask if I think my lesbian identity is a choice. But I’d probably say “yes”.
Make no mistake, I’m as gay as the next dyke. But somewhere back before the turn of the century, I made a clear-cut decision to come out and live the rest of my romantic life in the company of women. Life with men wasn’t awful. I suppose I could have kept doing it – and millions of women have, for reasons of security, religion, and fear of being ostracized.
But the question of could I do it again is a much tougher one. There are just too many variables. I’ve never identified as bi because I never pictured myself returning to relationships with men. And, admittedly, I’m the first one to rankle when Dan Savage starts talking about the sexual fluidity of women. I don’t think of my sexuality as all that fluid. Before I came out, I just hadn’t considered my options.
I thought of myself as perfectly straight, right up until I met a woman who rang my chimes harder than any man ever had. While I didn’t have a relationship with her, I was so unnerved, I was compelled to look deeper into myself. It was my own dark night of the soul. But unlike Jonah, I wasn’t coughed up in a ball of whale spit. Instead, I landed on the beach covered in lube and waving the rainbow flag.
So I was married to men. Does that make me less gay now?
Consider this: With the exception of a very few Gold Star Lesbians, every lesbian woman I know has slept with more men than I have (three).
I understand why we don’t want to give haters any more ammunition to use against us, but the sort of backlash aimed at Nixon fractionates us. It divides our own community into gay, gayer, gayest, bisexual, and so forth. It’s a complete waste of energy that could be better spent scaffolding our community, not tearing it down.
This type of reactionary thinking panders to conservatives and will ultimately hinder the gay rights movement.
For example, in a 2006 article in Pediatrics: The Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics supporting gay marriage, the Academy stated that the vast majority of children with parents in same-sex relationships were conceived in heterosexual relationships. So when we talk about gay families, should we exclude them from our numbers? Make them draw a bi card? No, we need to coax these moms and dads out to be counted. We need to encourage them to come out to their family doctors. Then, perhaps the estimated number of kids being raised by gay parents won’t be so wide-ranging, anywhere from 1 million to 10 million in the U.S., and will settle near the higher end (and probably more realistic) figure.
That’s how we gain political clout.
For political recognition, we don’t need fractions, we need whole numbers. We need to throw our gay arms open and embrace the entire damn rainbow.
While we’re at it, let’s all apologize to Cynthia Nixon. She tries to do right by our community. And, she’s more than gay enough for me.
This New Year’s Eve short story was originally posted in 2007. Enjoy!
“Trying to get me drunk?”
I leaned back against the kitchen counter, taking the time to survey her. I smiled what I hoped was my cockiest smile.
“Lady, I don’t even know you.” Continue reading
Girl gamers offer a manifesto to bring equality to gaming. Let’s bring it to real life, too.